tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25931382011-04-21T19:25:34.980-07:00Nail Me To a CrossI've got yer angst right here.Christiannoreply@blogger.comBlogger1391100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-1106700477944805292005-01-25T16:47:00.000-08:002005-01-25T16:47:57.946-08:00var zg_nsids = '89743452@N00';http://www.flickr.com/fun/zeitgeist/badge.js.gne" type="text/javascript">
Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-1105236422206883852005-01-08T18:07:00.000-08:002005-01-08T18:09:40.133-08:00Paranoia XP
Just found the paranoia XP creators' weblog. Don't want to forget it.
I am, incidentally, impressed and baffled that my login and weblog haven't been deleted.
Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-1058634197001648152003-07-19T10:03:00.000-07:002003-07-19T10:03:17.036-07:00christian martyr's Journal
I've started a backup log, just to see which I like more, LiveJournal or Blogger. I'm -used- to Blogger, so it gets the home-field advantage.
I made waffles. Now my belly hates me.Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-1058161143357738962003-07-13T22:39:00.000-07:002003-07-13T22:39:36.423-07:00What's My Pirate Name?
Your pirate name is:
Mad Jack Cash
Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. You're musical, and you've got a certain style if not flair. You'll do just fine. Arr!
Yeah, I can live with that.Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-1056216221709050942003-06-21T10:23:00.000-07:002003-06-21T10:23:41.700-07:00Stelpa
Been reading weblogs lately -- it's the most interesting thing the web's provided me for a while. It's nice, in a grassroots sorta way, to see so many people generating so much content, whether it's profound or not, about their lives. Turns us all into narrators, protagonists, subjects, and objects, too, I suppose.
I seem to log primarily when I'm feeling down. It leaves me with big gaps Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-952696742003-06-03T21:37:00.000-07:002003-06-03T21:37:47.570-07:00I've been lazy
And I'm not sure entirely what's to blame. Sloppy thinking, sloppy habits lately. I'm tired, partially from E3 and partially from a lingering cold that's floating around in my headmeat. Maybe I'm burnt out. Maybe I need a change of pace. Unfortunately, this past long weekend didn't really manage to provide that at all. Anyway, here's what our booth looked like at E3:
That shot Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-949751522003-05-27T22:10:00.000-07:002003-05-27T22:10:25.356-07:00Love and Rockets Reissues
Bought some of 'em. The Swing EP is great. Express is great. Listening now.
At least the face in the mirror still looks me in the eyes.Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-939734752003-05-07T22:20:00.000-07:002003-05-07T22:20:53.000-07:00This Lunar Disposition
Just another mood swing. The way these things go, though, it's less a swing than it is one of those things you see at the amusement park. You know, the big boat things that swing up to the one side, then back up the other, higher and higher, until finally, you're upside down and your change is falling out of your pocket and maybe you drop your camera, but it's okay for nowChristiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-937698502003-05-04T17:31:00.000-07:002003-05-04T17:31:58.750-07:00Dave Eggers is smart
"What matters is that you do good work. What matters is that you produce things that are true and will stand. What matters is that the Flaming Lips's new album is ravishing and I've listened to it a thousand times already, sometimes for days on end, and it enriches me and makes me want to save people. What matters is that it will stand forever, long after any narrow-hearted Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-937659602003-05-04T16:02:00.000-07:002003-05-04T16:02:25.770-07:00Fair enough, I suppose
After all, I've always been a little on the eschatological side.
The final book of Narnia, you're a sometimes disturbing story about the end of the world and the beginning of a new one. Your characters include an evil monkey, a misguided donkey, stubborn dwarves and all the human characters from the previous books. You manage to be heartbreaking and beautiful at once.
Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-935046862003-04-29T19:26:00.000-07:002003-05-04T16:04:38.000-07:00Rob Dougan
"And if you go, furious angels will drag you back to me..."
I'm a little iffy on the song, and the video really didn't have me convinced until the end, but the end was just beautiful. The end and that single line.Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-932212232003-04-24T21:26:00.000-07:002003-04-24T21:26:39.490-07:00quoting2
and just when I think
that things are in their place
the heavens are secure
the whole thing explodes in my face.Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-932211452003-04-24T21:25:00.000-07:002003-04-24T21:25:08.290-07:00quoting
got lyrics on my mind:
Tell me why no one's listening
Is there nothing at all left to say?
In a world so unforgiving
you mean more to me each every day.
so may the living be dead in our wake.Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-925474842003-04-13T16:10:00.000-07:002003-04-13T16:13:03.000-07:00what country am I?
It figures, doesn't it?
Japan -
Viewed as the technological powerhouse of the 21st Century, it has lived a relatively solemn and singular history.
Positives:
Technologically Advanced.
Economic Superpower.
Healthy Populace.
Negatives:
Small.
Isolated and Sometimes Ignored.
Unlucky with Disasters.
Which Country are You?
Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-924428692003-04-11T11:35:00.000-07:002003-04-11T11:35:01.450-07:00still sleepy
It's my own fault, though. I finished reading Pattern Recognition the other night, and for some reason, when I finish a book right before going to bed, I wind up not being able to sleep. It's happened twice in the past few weeks, and it's exhausting. It wasn't so much that I was thinking about the book all night -- more that my mind was too active from chewing on the conclusion to Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-921128822003-04-06T16:42:00.000-07:002003-04-06T16:42:25.123-07:00I ask again
When did the world turn into the kind of place you'd see this?
On a side note, I was walking down Capitol Hill today, and I overheard a homeless guy (sitting in a bus-stop shelter drinking some kind of bottled bev) saying to himself, "I survive because of the fruit juice. The fruit juice keeps me alive" in a husky whisper that reminded me of the spice mantra the mentats used in Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-921093502003-04-06T15:23:00.000-07:002003-04-06T15:23:38.496-07:00Gibson was right
when did the world turn silly enough to let something like this become a reality, anyway?
Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-920451992003-04-05T08:33:00.000-08:002003-04-05T08:33:09.936-08:00melodramarama
It's come to my attention -- or rather, it's come to my inbox, that I have a small audience of friends, and that some of them are a little concerned about my mood swings. Well, for what it's worth, my updates might have been a little melodramatic lately, but that's simply what these mood swings have been doing to me -- they feel like big, traumatic pendulum swings, traveling quicklyChristiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-918942022003-04-02T21:25:00.000-08:002003-04-02T21:25:47.000-08:00When did that happen?
You mean to tell me I missed the coming of my time of Carousel? Why didn't anyone tell me?
I am not happy about this.Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-918601772003-04-02T11:09:00.000-08:002003-04-02T11:09:40.560-08:00bother
Forgot to bring Doomclaw the Koalanator home last night for pictures. I feel like I've gone into full psychological and social retreat these days... More and more insular -- eventually, I'll just be wearing headphones and blinders all the time, and I'll be safe and happy and all alone.
listening: random iPod: Underworld -- Dirty Epic. Reminds me of Paris, '92 -- riding the metro alone at Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-918021652003-04-01T15:25:00.000-08:002003-04-01T15:25:56.246-08:00is this normal?
The post-workout crash is about the most brutal mood swing I've got in my inventory. Just noticed I'd failed to close an HTML tag on last night's broken-brain update. Too tired and depressed to care. Wish I had Chameleons UK on my iPod. That gives me a way to kill another night of my life -- ripping more tunes. I feel empty, like a pillowcase that's being shaken over the balcony Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-917580432003-03-31T21:22:00.000-08:002003-04-01T15:21:12.000-08:00GAH!!! [the way it feels living in my brain]
WHY!? Why do I work so fucking hard!?
workworkworkworkbzzzzzzzmybrainstillhurts.hertz.hearst.zzzzzz...
listening: Chicane -- first Behind the Sun, then Visions of Ibiza. Next? dunno. faster tempo to finish all this work I've been workowrkroworwrkworking on. Kruder and Dorfmeister. That'll do, pig. That'll do. No drinking music. NO DRINKING MUSIC. Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-917492462003-03-31T19:03:00.000-08:002003-03-31T19:05:54.000-08:00Kopfschmerzen
Damn it. One of the cats jumped on my keyboard and magically undid a good ten minutes worth of logging. Fuck if I'm going to rehash stuff I've already worked out in my head. My head, incidentally, is killing me -- or trying to, at any rate. It throbs in metronymic precision. It might be throbbing is synch with some quasar, for all I know -- every one throb of my headmeat equalling aChristiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-914561112003-03-26T19:55:00.000-08:002003-03-26T19:55:15.046-08:00feeling better
wish I knew why.
glad, though. just plain glad.Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-914241572003-03-26T10:05:00.000-08:002003-03-26T10:10:38.000-08:00Medication
The Spiritualized song, that is. Although...I'm starting to reach the point where I can predict and anticipate my mood swings, and that's bothering me a little bit. By "mood swings," I mean soul-crushing depression. And by "predict and anticipate," I mean "dread," because I can't actually stop them from coming, and I can't avoid them, and I can't find my own li'l way out of them on my Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-913932752003-03-25T21:17:00.000-08:002003-03-25T21:17:00.890-08:00the droning engine throbs in time with your beating heart
Some songs pursue me for years on end. They never lose the impact they had when I first heard them, or they shift and slide, so that every time, they transform in shape and meaning to fit new moods, new emotions, new mes. Duran Duran's The Chauffeur does that. That's where I am now, drowning in new romanticism and gi-normous hair.
Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-913284052003-03-24T21:38:00.000-08:002003-03-24T21:39:10.000-08:00Gibson's Weblog
Did I link this already? I ought to have. Honestly, it deserves a second linking if I did. The man is brilliant beyond words. I'm at that unfortunate phase where I want to write but have nothing to write. Like when I want to talk but have nothing to say. I want to connect but have no one with whom to connect. I've felt this way for years.Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-913252292003-03-24T20:36:00.000-08:002003-03-24T20:37:58.000-08:00Foolish Thing Desire
Title from Daniel Ash's first solo album. I saw him on that tour, interviewed him years later with Kevin Haskins from Love and Rockets. David J was stuck in New York, sick. This was years before Bauhaus reunited for the Resurrection tour. We were just one small college radio station (24 watts at the time), one brief interview among many that day. A nice thing, though -- Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-912481682003-03-23T16:39:00.000-08:002003-03-23T16:43:46.000-08:00I hate this
I keep unspooling the threads on my sleeves when I'm at my computer. My desk has a little snaggletoothed corner, and it reaches out and grabs threads and yanks them into unsightly little curls. On an unrelated note, one of my cats is falling asleep standing up. that's just creepy.
listening: Half-Gifts -- Cocteau Twins, off of Milk and Kisses.
drinking: some throat-searing ginger teaChristiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-912431212003-03-23T14:43:00.000-08:002003-03-23T14:46:17.000-08:00cold, grey day
Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-911650442003-03-21T21:06:00.000-08:002003-03-21T21:06:05.450-08:00Telepubbing
St. Patrick's Day came and went with little occasion, for the most part -- My hair has been dyed red, my day was mostly uneventful. My plans for drinking with coworkers were pitiful and poorly realized. Instead, I came home, logged on, and sat in front of my computer.
Surprisingly enough, this worked out rather well. I've been pining for my friends a lot lately, and when one of themChristiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-904287802003-03-09T17:52:00.000-08:002003-03-09T18:14:46.000-08:00Marymoor Park
A portion of Marymoor Park sits on a peat bog. The walkway's there to keep you from sinking into it during the rainy weather, as well as to protect the ecosystem of the bog from our clumsy, leaden footsteps of doom.
If you go through the peat bog, the park opens up across Lake Sammamish.
Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-900968172003-03-03T22:01:00.000-08:002003-03-09T17:56:44.000-08:00OPi8 Again
After some server troubles, it's back up and running like a pretty little princess... Running and screaming and trying to get away.
Not much worth updating today. Life goes on, and so it goes. For those who follow "things," debug started for the game I'm working on. I don't get text bugs for a week, though, so I've got idle time. I'm fixing things on my own, tweaking little bits of Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-900253112003-03-02T18:11:00.000-08:002003-03-02T18:11:36.983-08:00Cocteau Lyrics
I still have a life
And it's a rich one
Even with mourning
Even with grief and sadnessChristiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-900108372003-03-02T12:25:00.000-08:002003-03-02T12:25:19.186-08:00we are all angels and devils within us
It's a strange day. Gray and wet and all headaches and laziness. Coffee to get rid of the headache, too much coffee and the stomach goes wrong. Skeleton trees haunt my windows, thin limbs clumped in moss.
Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-899733092003-03-01T15:52:00.000-08:002003-03-01T15:52:00.076-08:00Just a question
Is 13% body fat good or bad? Because that's what a machine tells me I've got.
Why am I even listening to a machine, anyway? I mean, all they ever do is rise up and destroy humanity, and god knows, I don't need THAT again.Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-898853842003-02-27T21:44:00.000-08:002003-02-27T21:44:05.546-08:00something positive
Some days, I feel like, no matter how hard I try, I just miss the mark. I try to express myself most days, and I can at least describe the geography of my feelings, even if I can't pinpoint their exact location. Today, though, I'm just... desperate. Grasping. Holding on too tightly, even. Maybe just insecure, I don't know. But I feel like my mind is racing to keep up, like I'mChristiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-897561812003-02-25T20:28:00.000-08:002003-02-25T20:28:10.123-08:00One and One
Years ago, I was sent to Paris for some consumer gaming show. I forget the name of the show now -- it was all a bit of a blur, and I had a temperature clocking in at about 105-107 degrees. Not quite the point where hallucinations kick in, but certainly high enough to keep me from wanting to be alive.
The plane had been delayed for hours, and I was still nervous about the whole Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-893573312003-02-18T22:19:00.000-08:002003-02-18T22:21:44.000-08:00feeling like a failure
And for no good reason. This is the strange aftereffect of a long, exhausting workout. All results in and/or from poor self esteem, no doubt. A few minutes on the gaming forums to read how much fans hate my various decisions (oh, never by name -- they don't know my name). I know those things come down to a handful of loud online users whose opinions are expressed more Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-892875242003-02-17T21:33:00.000-08:002003-02-17T21:33:57.166-08:00dark and long
The scent of rain still hangs in the air, and the asphalt outslide reflects a blackened yellow from the streetlamps. I see it all from my office window, looking down across the cul-de-sac -- pools of light on the slick road, pearly grey in the sky, streaked with scattered clouds and reflecting ashen moonlight. It's a quiet night, and soft piano midi loop repeats itself, imbedded inChristiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-892862552003-02-17T21:08:00.000-08:002003-02-17T21:08:52.213-08:00OPi8
OPi8 is sorta back up and running, after a slight downtime brought about by a server change. With any luck, the forums will start up again soon, as well.
Right now, when you do a search for my name on Amazon, you find an out-of-print book on marine biology for which my mother crafted the illustrations and you find a book on medieval literacy and the public and private act of reading Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-892080472003-02-16T15:43:00.000-08:002003-02-16T15:43:27.730-08:00Full Hunger Moon
Another quiet day. Bought .hack for the PS2. It's interesting, in a sort of meta- way. It's a game in which you play a gamer in the future interacting with his computer to play in an online RPG. .hack itself is offline, mind you. So the world is filled with NPCs running around saying things that real players would be saying in, say, Everquest or Phantasy Star Online -- when Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-890170972003-02-12T21:39:00.000-08:002003-02-12T21:39:08.393-08:00Feel so lonely, baby, I could die
It's a funny thing, this crazy instant global connectivity business. Supposed to bring people together and all that. Instant communication, via fiber optic cables, multiple T3s running through the workplace, all that business... I feel more isolated than ever these days. Maybe it's just the winter talking, but it's been a simple winter so far -- a little rain, aChristiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-890047282003-02-12T17:23:00.000-08:002003-02-12T17:23:52.160-08:00Focus, Pinky
Focus is exactly what I can't do right now. I'm at work, and I'm taking a little diversion time to do something other than stare at that goddamn Excel sheet for another second longer. My eyes are blurring from cross-referencing game tutorials with dialogue from the in-combat scenarios (I'll tell you what I'm working on later. It's not a secret--I just don't feel like it). The days Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-888916272003-02-10T20:00:00.000-08:002003-02-10T20:00:20.086-08:00twenty-nine
The universe is sacred.
You cannot improve it.
If you try to change it, you will ruin it.
If you try to hold it, you will lose it.Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-884402542003-02-02T15:11:00.000-08:002003-02-02T15:11:30.560-08:00SCIENCE!!!
A quiet revolution is under way in the world of flavour research, blending chemistry, molecular biology and genetics to cook up recipes your mother never imagined: In this emerging field, it's not the food that will be modified, but you — the eater.Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-883820652003-02-01T09:03:00.000-08:002003-02-01T09:03:37.136-08:00Columbia shuttle breaks up
This image comes from the weather sattelites over Texas this morning.
Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-880765262003-01-26T19:46:00.000-08:002003-01-26T19:46:40.830-08:00The Invisible Library
This site documents a huge selection of books that only appear within other books -- imaginary, unpublished, or simply no longer extant. For example, you can find a brief entry for Oolon Colluphid's God trilogy, "Where God Went Wrong," "Who Is this God Person Anyway?" and "Well, That About Wraps it Up for God," all of which got brief mention in Douglas Adams's Hitchhiker's Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-877004122003-01-19T16:19:00.000-08:002003-01-19T17:26:13.000-08:00City Pages: Behind Closed Doors
Things fall apart. You mean to, but then you don't. Or you do, but then you just lose track of it all. For awhile, perhaps, there was the desire. Later, a kind of fatigue. Time gets away. Something slips--a disconnect--and the heat goes. Tomorrow you will have to set everything right. But the idea gets lost underneath, in the piles. No one is watching, anyway. No Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-876998692003-01-19T16:06:00.000-08:002003-01-19T16:06:17.570-08:00Today
People tell me that I haven't changed, but I don't feel the same.Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-876873822003-01-19T10:31:00.000-08:002003-01-19T15:38:46.000-08:00William Gibson
Turns out William Gibson has a weblog. It's been posted to the high heavens online -- you'd be hard pressed to find a link page that doesn't include one to Gibson's page here... Boingboing, Die Puny Humans, Fark -- I've seen it all over the place. His weblogs are pretty astounding, though. His last long (as of 1/19/03) talks about influences briefly: "I, for example, couldn't evenChristiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-872033372003-01-09T21:04:00.000-08:002003-01-09T21:04:23.873-08:00OPi8.com :: NEW DARK CULTURE
I've just started up volunteering as assistant editor on this site here... Cyberpunkishly bleak; nice, dark sense of humor; fun-filled forums. I think I like it there.
So, I've been a little not saying much lately. I've been in the middle of a project. Unfortunately, it hasn't been officially announced yet, which is odd, because the release date is not all that far Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-863058192002-12-19T21:37:00.000-08:002002-12-19T21:37:09.346-08:00tokidoki v2.0
I'll be in SoCal for the next week or so. Not sure if I'm looking forward to it or not. I suspect I am, but then, there's a mix of dread and anxiety built in. Maybe I just mislike change. Maybe I'll just miss the cats. Maybe I just need some time with no one else around, and I know that my every moment for the next 10 days will be filled with people, that even if I want privacy, Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-859988292002-12-14T10:55:00.000-08:002002-12-14T10:55:41.760-08:00nothing much
Seriously. Nothing much. I've been busy with work and work and work. I'll try to remember to do this more often. Workworkwork. Struth.Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-852971182002-11-30T08:48:00.000-08:002002-11-30T08:48:13.693-08:00Super Madrigal Bros.
This may be the most amazing thing I've heard in a while. Super Madrigal Brothers, interpreting 16th century madrigals through video-game music. I'm not even sure I know where to begin, but the concept driving it alone is enough to make me want a copy of "Shakestation" for myself. Although, now that I think about it, I wish they'd gone with the title Henry LXIV. (it's okay ifChristiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-846812322002-11-17T16:41:00.000-08:002002-11-17T16:41:44.940-08:00Twilight of the Superheroes"
Net legend, really -- been around and online for so long. I guess DC has officially requested its removal from private websites, but the usenet archive sees all and knows all. This here is Alan Moore's treatment for a super-mega-crossover series featuring major revisions to all the superheroes and their world. It remains apocryphal as well -- that's twice I've gottenChristiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-846658472002-11-17T09:40:00.000-08:002002-11-17T09:40:59.663-08:00World's fastest computer simulates Earth
Great. Now I'm even more confused. You know what we need is for that simulated earth to develop technology sufficient enough to allow it to build computers that can run a simulation of the earth.
It reminds me of a story I heard in school about some physicist type or something talking about the structure of the universe. He was lecturing to a large Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-844990502002-11-13T16:52:00.000-08:002002-11-13T16:52:23.800-08:00The Pain, The Pain!
My back still hurts, but I went to the doctor, and he tells me it's not my kidneys, which I was afraid of, to be honest. It's roughly the right area, but the doc says it ain't kidneys, it's just pain. He said take some ibuprofen, have a hot bath, get some rest. I say fine. My blood pressure's all cool, too. So...
current mood:
Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-844040102002-11-11T22:06:00.000-08:002002-11-11T22:06:06.826-08:00Flavor Graveyard
It's not much of an update, but it's something at least. I've been a little preoccupied lately. I've been working, although not as hard as I ought to be, and I've been tidying up -- my office at home is getting new shelves (cheapo Target particle-board things). I've been playing with the cats and suffering strange physical ailments -- back pains, mostly, but I don't know from Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-841810672002-11-07T09:51:00.000-08:002002-11-07T10:11:40.000-08:00Seven Days In and Nothing to Show
National Write a Novel Month started on November 1st. I have no expectations of completing a novel this month. I know myself too well. My self confidence isn't strong enough to pump out a novel. I have more humble goals, though -- a completed comic-book script (and if I can get an artist on it, a completed comic) by the end of the month. I'm having a tough time Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-839909512002-11-03T21:52:00.000-08:002002-11-03T21:52:35.813-08:00Swamp Thing
A little swamp-monster action for you.Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-839697532002-11-03T12:49:00.000-08:002002-11-03T12:49:57.056-08:00Tokyo Food
Just found this. Haven't looked much at it yet. Looks like articles and recipes. I want to find a good shoku pan recipe for my bread maker. I made bread in it last night for the first time in months. It came out a little dense. I'm having it toasted with cheese right now. But I want shoku pan. If you find a recipe, let me know.
Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-839250012002-11-02T09:46:00.000-08:002002-11-02T09:46:19.630-08:00The Voynich Manuscript
Now, this is an interesting thing. A 200-page manuscript written in a language that cannot be identified, containing drawings of plants, stars, elaborate plumbing devices (yes)...
When it was found, it was also found to contain a letter from Rudolph II, a freakin' emperor of the Holy Roman Empire. The letter dates from 1666 (the same year London burned, by the way) and Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-818553652002-09-19T21:02:00.000-07:002002-09-19T21:02:49.000-07:00I'm a 21st Century Digital Boy
I don't know how to live, but I've got a lot of toys.
I forgot to mention, I'm going to be getting a digital camera soon. Once I figure out how to do all this on my handheld, I'll be writing these things entirely on the fly.Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-818549532002-09-19T20:51:00.000-07:002002-09-19T20:51:28.166-07:00portability
I just got myself new toys: a replacement handheld for my failing handspring prism and a full-sized keyboard to give me the portability OF THE GODS. This is how I waste my time now. I'm gonna try to use this to update the site for a little while, see how it feels. So here goes. This is a few days old, but...
This is pretty heady stuff, lying on my back, typing on a keyboard just Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-813356772002-09-08T18:46:00.000-07:002002-09-08T18:48:44.000-07:00Oak Island
Oak Island Secrets; Investigative Files (Skeptical Inquirer March 2000)
Apparently, there's this island in Nova Scotia. On this island, there's a site that we've been digging for, what, about 150 years. Apparently, we've gone down about 150 feet, maybe more. Apparently, we haven't hit the bottom of this filled-in shaft we've been slowly uncovering. Nobody knows what's at the bottom, Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-809806022002-08-31T21:12:00.000-07:002002-08-31T21:46:18.000-07:00Dry Up and Blow Away
Looks like it's time for an aerial burial.
listening: Legendary Pink Dots: The Crushed Velvet Apocalypse (currently, Hotel Noir is playing). I'm feeling nostalgic or lost.
drinking: Tea from France. Black Russian, I think it's called. It has its own special little teapot, too, which is only special in that it bears the logo of the tea's distributor.
reading: Right now? StillChristiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-804159712002-08-18T22:00:00.000-07:002002-08-18T22:00:09.316-07:00I'm still here, you know.
I've just been a little busy is all. The more I work, the more of my own time I lose. With 10 hours or more per day dedicated to furthering someone else's cause, I have to think about how I'm spending my time. You know how it is. I come home, I try to relax, and instead, I find myself on the computer for hours, not doing much of anything. It's worse than channel surfing,Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-797201662002-08-01T21:37:00.000-07:002002-08-01T21:37:41.183-07:00circlingoverland
Anyone reading this thing probably knows me and knows what to expect from me. I'm pretty comfortable with that. This whole thing only gives me an opportunity to rant and maybe to spout invective and roil and bubble and foam at the mouth. I've been wallowing in an evil work-thing lately, so I haven't bothered with a substantial writing lately. Hell, I'm not sure I ever have. All IChristiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-789913412002-07-15T15:11:00.000-07:002002-07-15T15:13:48.000-07:00Does whatever a bomber can...
I am Bomberman.
Fearless and aggressive, I tend to remove personal obstacles in the most direct manner possible. I'm fascinated with technology but at the same time have no problem eliminating it for upgrades later. Relationships are a bit difficult for me though, since my approach to others is quite similar to my approach to technology. If I don't like it, it's Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-787160812002-07-08T21:11:00.000-07:002002-07-08T21:11:47.113-07:00When the cities are on fire with the burning flesh of men...
Just remember that death is not the end.Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-783425342002-06-28T22:45:00.000-07:002002-07-08T21:12:29.000-07:00Victory, Not Vengeance
The Sun was born, so it shall die,
so only shadows comfort me.
I know in darkness I will find you giving up inside like me.
Each day shall end as it begins
and though you're far away from me
I know in darkness I will find you giving up inside like me
Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-775341502002-06-09T12:13:00.000-07:002002-06-09T12:13:58.000-07:00soapmonkey
Soapmonkey is looking at you.
Soapmonkey is an angry monkey.
Do not anger soapmonkey. You are as bacteria to him.
You will be cleansed.Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-773606712002-06-04T21:06:00.000-07:002002-06-04T21:06:32.000-07:00I'm not alone.
I'm not afraid.
I'm not unhappy.
These are the words I say to myself everyday.
I am not alone, I am not afraid, I am not unhappy.
Such a stupid ritual to have to say to my self everyday.
I’m not alone, but I found my answer and set myself free. I’m not unhappy. Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-773482162002-06-04T15:23:00.000-07:002002-06-04T15:23:31.000-07:00And if rain brings winds of change,
let it rain on us forever.
I'm still alive.
Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-758143552002-04-25T10:16:00.000-07:002002-04-25T10:17:17.000-07:00the moon it looked exhausted, like something you should pity
Well, there it is. It's down to the last week, the last 50 files (and actually, that's a hell of a lot of work), and the last stretch before I get to kick back in the relatively easy process of testing and editing... Yes, the two will be happening simultaneously--there's just no time to do anything else on this massive little game. Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-753153122002-04-11T22:37:00.000-07:002002-04-11T22:37:02.020-07:00burn always
Nothing much today, other than an important and valuable quote from Walter Pater and the realization that I've worked 70 hours this week, and it's not even Friday. Understand this quote, and you will understand quite a lot:
The service of philosophy, of speculative culture, towards the human spirit, is to rouse, to startle it to a life of constant and eager observation. Every momentChristiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-752740382002-04-10T21:29:00.000-07:002002-04-10T21:29:55.763-07:00that's great it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes and airplanes
Today was useless. I went to the design department and explained to them that the manual I wrote looked like they had spent all of five minutes designing, and I explained to them what needed to be changed to approach the rough draft stage. I know dick about design. Why am I explaining how to design and lay out a manual Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-750633572002-04-04T22:04:00.000-08:002002-04-04T22:05:46.000-08:00I'm a mean motherfucker now, but I once was cool
I've been listening to a lot of the ol' Jesus and Mary Chain lately. Even their more recent stuff still sounds pretty good, still has that "so angry I'm depressed" mood about it. I think they broke up the night before the last time I saw them. That would certainly have explained their mood that night. Drunk, angry, and playing like it was their Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-112035062002-03-27T22:31:00.000-08:002002-03-27T22:40:51.000-08:00freetime
As in "I look forward to having some." This month will continue to devour my little soul bite by bite until mid- to late May. And while it's a shame that I won't see the light of day for many, many weeks, I have to take a few minutes to tell you that I still love the game industry. I have a ton of reasons, but here are a few of the small, petty ones. The deeper, more resonate reasons Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-110528262002-03-23T18:02:00.000-08:002002-03-27T22:41:33.000-08:00Gigantor
To shill for the site I found this on,
"Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?"Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-106624102002-03-12T10:05:00.000-08:002002-03-12T10:27:12.000-08:00the way out is through
I've been thinking about this mask thing. It's an apt description, really. I feel like I'm still ten years old, helpless, naive, trusting, and ignorant, wearing this awkward and ill-fitting adult face over my own, and the real bitch of it all, the thing I can't change and can't do anything to fix, is that the mask is my real face. I'm one step removed from my own life. I Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-105491162002-03-08T20:55:00.000-08:002002-03-08T21:01:45.000-08:00helpmei'mslippingagain
I feel like I don't have any face anymore, like I just have a rigid, waxen mask that I'm behind, watching and trying to twist the mask to suit the expectations of my audience--friends, coworkers, whoever. I push and pull and move the mask, and it still feels fake, like a mannequin smile. I can't shake it, either. I've been trying hard to shake this, and I'm slipping again.
Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-100413212002-02-23T09:37:00.000-08:002002-02-23T09:37:38.000-08:00Banal dreams lately. More mundane, really. That's what happens when reality starts intruding on your life... I've found myself dreaming about hanging around with coworkers, buying DVDs (these are the worst--you dream that you've finally found this amazing thing you think you wanted, and yet there's this sickly sweetness to it, like rotten honey, because subconsciously, you know it's all a dream,Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-98330662002-02-17T18:52:00.000-08:002002-02-17T18:52:02.173-08:00eating: lasagna -- straight from costco's freezers to your oven. You see, this morning, I was awakened by screams of horror as Maki realized that, for no visible reason, the corrugated piping connection the hot-water valve to the sink had burst. The hateful little bugger was spewing scalding water by the gallon all over our kitchen floor. I spent a few minutes trying to wake up my brain, but Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-98283472002-02-17T16:08:00.000-08:002002-02-17T16:08:00.180-08:00Hm... Time to broadband my friend's weblog. Here: Avalock. (Hell, 'ave two, they're fat free! Gods, I kill me. I KILL ME!)Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-95043392002-02-07T20:45:00.000-08:002002-02-07T20:45:14.410-08:00whoops. let too much time pass, forgot to update for a long time.
my bad.
I've been writing on real paper more often lately. It helps slow my thoughts down, make them a little more coherent. Unfortunately, my brain isn't used to it yet, and I'm a slow, sloppy handwriter. I'll be three words in, and I'll forget how the sentence was supposed to end, because my mind is already on the next one, Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-83763372002-01-03T08:47:00.000-08:002002-01-03T08:47:21.936-08:00"He died in the war."
"...Which one?"
*shrug* "Does it matter?"Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-69597742001-11-07T21:51:00.000-08:002001-11-07T21:55:37.000-08:00Apoptygma Berzerk
It's been a while (it always is), and I've been in Japan, back again, and maybe on my way to Japan a second time--Kyoto, this time, for work. Just posting a brief update of my mental state:
I've had three apocalyptic dreams in the past two weeks (a sign of the times... or at least, a sign of the sorry state of my mind in these sorry times). In the first, I was in what, for Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-61827482001-10-07T20:17:00.000-07:002001-10-07T20:17:56.516-07:00Always forget to add this part:
Listening: Gregorian Chants
Reading: Holy Blood, Holy Grail
Drinking: nothing right now, but I'm gonna get myself a cuppa tea soon. No liquor for a bit. My stomach hasn't been too happy with me.
Playing: Klonoa for the Game Boy Advance, Metroid II for the Game Boy, and still Advance Wars, the finest GBA game on the market. (Not that I don't love Castlevania or Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-61826462001-10-07T20:13:00.000-07:002001-11-07T22:12:36.000-08:00Still trying to post regularly, still letting my lack of inertia stop me altogether.
My dog is doing better. Her vertebra will never heal, not in her remaining lifetime. She's going to stay on painkillers, though. My father is opposed to euthanizing animals. Well, I think he's opposed to euthanasia altogether. It's a strange thing to discover someone you've known your whole life as a Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-60509552001-10-01T22:28:00.000-07:002001-10-01T22:28:17.600-07:00my dog's not doing very well.
she was attacked by a coyote just over a month ago. The vet now thinks that it may have crushed one of the vertebra in her neck. she seems to be in a lot of pain. I'm very sad about this, but she's an old dog, and she's had a comfortable life, being loved and cared for at all times. We rescued her from the pound when she was just a puppy, and we think she'd seenChristiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-58972832001-09-24T21:31:00.000-07:002001-09-24T21:31:33.380-07:00the result of automatic writing and free association:
This is really awful. A week after I promise to post more, I find myself unable even to think about writing for myself, writing for pleasure. Part of it has to do with the recent terrorist attacks--a mix of fear, anticipation, uncertainty, and a strange numbness wash over me alternately, leaving me, on the average, more numb than anything Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-56781762001-09-13T22:01:00.000-07:002001-09-13T22:01:24.550-07:00I haven't been able to post in a few days, a result of my own shock at the terrorist attacks of september 11th, 2001. I've spent all day the past three days looking for the latest news online, on the radio, on TV, and then i come home and do the same. How long until I feel better about this? What will it take for me to feel like justice in some form has been served?Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-56058832001-09-10T21:53:00.000-07:002001-09-10T21:53:56.090-07:00a side note:
I've got the theme song to Fraggle Rock stuck in my head.
Dance your cares away,
Worry's for another day.
Let the music play,
Down at Fraggle Rock.
Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-56058222001-09-10T21:50:00.000-07:002001-09-10T21:50:53.196-07:00There's a spider living in my mirror. My driver's-side mirror has a gap separating it from the frame that cradles it. The spider hides in there whenever I come by, so I only see some legs poking out when I go to my car in the mornings. The legs twitch and pull back when I pop my key into the lock and open the door. I'm just anthropomorphizing him when I call him a him, really, but it will Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-55797372001-09-09T16:42:00.000-07:002001-09-09T16:42:29.756-07:00Many months passed, and young Martyr grew to be a man.
Seriously, though, I've been busy. I'm in the middle of a project that has demanded just about 70 hours a week, sometimes more, for the past couple of weeks, and all of my brain power the rest of the time. It's wrapping up soon, and you'll see it on your local Electronics Boutique or Software Etc. shelves within, oh, three months. It Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-40196372001-06-11T10:03:00.000-07:002001-06-11T10:03:13.583-07:00Got my business cards today. English on one side, Japanese on the other. They look all futurisitic-y. I like the future. Actually, when I think about it, I liked the future a lot more back in the 80s. We had a neat, post-apocalyptic future back then... Everyone would wear old football gear and leg braces and worn-out leather. We'd live in giant domed cities. We'd have cool cars with guns Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-38903812001-06-01T14:10:00.000-07:002001-06-01T14:10:34.103-07:00I am now firmly implanted in my new job at Nintendo. It's fun. I like it. The people are nice, so far, and the weather has been, well, hot. It's sunny, warm, dry, and confusing. Wait, wait... It's raining outside now... See what I mean? Confusing. It's actually raining pretty heavily now... When did that start? Downside to this office: no windows.
I'm renting a nice, kinda large-ish Christiannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2593138.post-36680972001-05-16T21:45:00.000-07:002001-05-16T21:45:53.436-07:00let's see if this is working any better. I keep getting errors when I attempt to publish new blogs...
Oh, I'll be at E3 on Friday. Since the only people reading this are, in all likelihood, attending E3, keep an eye out for me.Christiannoreply@blogger.com